Phil Ep. 09.20: "B"

Don't-Date-Him-Girl servers must be overloaded thanks to stupid Todd. Boy, you must be the stupidiest attorney I've ever seen; appearing on a show where you'll be portrayed as a bitter fool is always a bad choice. Because of your stupid ego, you'll be losing more business; clients will be running away from your cheap-'n-tacky-suit ass don't want to hire stupid lawyers. And your hate for Tasha -- my hero -- will only help Ms. Joseph; you know very little about publicity. Good or bad -- in this case, extremely good --, all this publicity is gonna make women cheer for Ms. Joseph; you're just bitter that you'll never drive a Jaguar.

Smith Ep. 09.19: "C+"

I really hope the show gets better after the pilot. Let's roll:

Hope's parole officer has a scary-looking, pus-filled pimple on the chin; hopefully the angry pimple goes away or she gets replaced. And Bobby's boss is stupid to think that he can threaten and gain control of his "employee."

Before I continue, I gotta pick on somebody; I'm sorry but there's something unnatrual about Virginia Madsen, and that's all I could think about when she was in bed with Ray Liotta. Don't get me wrong; Madsen is a beautiful woman but there's something about her that makes me wanna inspect for any tweaking she may have had done -- it shows too much. And Ray Liotta needs to pluck some more nose hair if he wants to be portrayed sexy.

Moving on, in blond boy (Jeff) world, when someone bullies you, you just shoot 'em in the head. And a cat will love you even if you kicked it.

Interesting choice of music for a desert backdrop; Indian evokes "exotic" but not too sure if it's apt for a British dude coming out of a California penitentiary.

Amy Smart looks sexy but she can't do sexy; has a bit trouble with the pumps and the stupid editor/director doesn't muffle out a bike speeding away during her "sexy" scene and it deflates. Maybe it's supposed to be a segue but when you're trying to build a sexy character, you don't knock it out like that. And what town is named Shadyside? And why doesn't she kill Condescending Girl?

Best couple scene was Shawn's Latino girl Macy and Joe. Yes, it's delicious to see that there's history between a married woman and her husband's "best" friend and they pull it off:

Macy: I should have married you!
Joe: I've never asked you.
Macy: Yeah well, that was the problem wasn't it?

Boss Charlie looks scary; old ladies should not wear black eyeliners.And "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap is a pretty cool song.

S60 Ep. 09.18: "B-"

Fifteen minutes before the curtain goes down, Matthew Perry bursts in and saves the show. Believe me when I say that anything before 10:45 was crap; it's Perry's world and everybody else are just extras. It is cuz of this dude that this show has a chance in hell. Frankly, I'm disappointed from all the hype and I'm hoping that the show will get better cuz who doesn't like a charming Chandie (aka Chandler; see "Friends")? And oh, the attempts at psychological games.

p.s. Amanda Peet doesn't look goofy (i.e. her face) which is surprising.

TAR Ep. 09.17: "B+/A-"

My head was spinning from trying to keep up with all the characters but the show kept my heart racing and I kinda like the Cho brothers. I just wish the long-haired one got himself a haircut; FYI, ponytails are so -- not sexy. Well, yes, the other one looks like an asshole but hey, it's hard to find Korean guys who got some meat on da bone. Ya dig?

The thing about the challenges is that maybe there should be some kind of split-screen thing cuz all the white couples look alike -- except the hicks. And it was kinda disturbing to see a father showing a little bit too much PDA to his daughter; I guess the origin of incest is loneliness. And I must note that seeing Sarah scrambling to climb The Great Wall was just cruel and a good place to take a commercial break.

Let's just hope we get to see white people get eliminated next week.

Survivor Ep. 09.14: "C+"

I'll tell ya one thing: as long as the crazies aren't voted off, it's gonna be a fun ride, kids. Let's start with Cao Boi (hereafter CB): this crazy, Vietnamese goat sure knows how to make people look stupid. All it took was mumbling about breaking the wind inside Brad's head; but CB pops a vein instead on the forehead for all to see. Stupid Brad then tries to cover his embarrassment with a cap but the rest of the P tribe laughs at him anyway.

The immunity challenge was fun to watch. I'm just wondering, if Indians and Jews were included, would the Asians still have won?

About the tribe names, who came up with it? Nobody's gonna remember hard-to-spell names. Speaking of which, the blacks or the M tribe really lived up to their stereotype during TB (tribal council). Probe (Jeff Probst) chucked it to stereotype exploitation and held the errors for all the world to see; apparently Sekou wasn't meant to stay cuz spelling out "Sundra" takes an extra letter. Anyhoo, it's interesting that the boys and girls didn't gang up on Steph -- you one lucky girl, bitch. But then again, Sekou, you chauvinist, ya just don't tell a black woman that: only you can make fire; instead, you should have reversed the finger like Smokey the Bear: "Only you can prevent forest fires!"

On a side note, I don't know if Burnett was sane when he threw a clip of the M tribe getting a barrel of parasite-ridden water. I also don't like that they didn't cast any Carltons (see "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"). As far as I'm concerned, the M tribe is at a disadvantage.