BB Ep. 08.17: "B+"

On the road to winning, pawns are meant to take the heat; to do your bidding. CG (Chicken George) may think that it's awesome that he finally won HoH, but let us remember that, just like in life, causing others to envy can only make you a target. People love underdogs and they cheer when the underdog gets a bone or two, but they don't want the underdog to win that brand-new car when they could win it too. So unless you're rich enough to protect yourself behind the walls of a mighty fortress with a military to defend it, don't go around flaunting your mediocre amount of money -- Get my drift?

Make sure your decisions don't end up backfiring. That's why Dr. Evil (Will) doesn't try too hard in competitions. Boogie, I'm afraid everyone already knows that you won Coup d'Etat; Stop trying so hard to hide it. The more you act, the more attention you draw. At this stage, I believe you've become Will's pawn. Saying stuff like "Sucker, you're going down" will only draw the wrath of a scorned bitch. And remember, he's on jury, now. If you make it to the final two, you're out one vote. Sure, Will may have said nastier things on the live feeds -- he remarked that Nicole is dressed like a lesbian wrestler, and that never got aired -- but you're the one whose snicker got broadcasted. And I doubt that the sequestered houseguests will have time or be allowed to watch live feeds.

It seems pretty obvious to me that Will is gonna watch from the sidelines, and let the idiots duke it out. He's got the best seat in the house -- with all the ties and relationships he's built (e.g. Jani, Dani, etc.) -- and he's gonna watch 'em burn, and whoever is left standing will probably have hit every nerve of everyone, shifting the jury vote to Will. In short, it's gonna be another Jun vs. Alison; Alison pissed everyone off too much and Jun was smart enough to keep her mouth shut when necessary. Sure, she made fun of everyone in the DR (Diary Room), but learning that someone talked behind your back isn't as painful as an actual, in-your-face experience. In the end, just like in life, it's the floaters who win it. Will may complain about the floaters all the time, but that's like the pot calling the kettle black; Will is gonna win it floating, away from the fireworks -- unless Jani and Dani team up; that'd be really smart like Jani's mom said. Hopefully, like Julie said, we can "expect the unexpected."

BB Ep. 08.10: "C"

So I was wrong about Big Boi; he voted James. But I was right; Kaysar got kicked out -- on his birthday! And the gleam in Kaysar's eyes -- as soon as Willie popped up on the "I told ya so" video message -- looked like he wanted to strangle dear Will.

Hey, Boogie (Mike Boogie) was a fat kid! And Will's mom is crazy and ugly!

One thing that'll keep me tune in is Janelle's crush on Dr. Evil (Will); I wonder how long it'll last. By the way, Will looks like a woman when sporting an Afro.

Erika winning HoH (head of household) goes to show that it sure is harder to win Power of Veto. My crystal bowl says that the next 2 fish up on the block are: Jani and Howie. But Jani will somehow, against odds, win Power of Veto!

BB wants to guage popularity through a stupid poll. And Julie yammers about a "revolutionary twist" in Power of Veto -- it's probably to help Jani stay in the fishbowl. And today's show leaves me somewhat unsatisfied; guess I had high expectations for a live show.

UPDATE: As of 1:39 am, a HoH redo notice has been posted on the CBS site! Erika gave it up to Dani last time, and I think she regretted that. If I were Erika, I'd fight tooth 'n nail to keep it. Or maybe BB will allow another two HoHs. If BB's smart, they'll manipulate the fishbowl so that Boogie ends up fondling Erika again. But then again, I never found Boogie attractive.

That stupid prom poll with questions like:

• Who is most annoying?
• Who is most likely to be mistaken for furniture?
• Who is the biggest whiner?

suggests to me that Marci and Chicken will be on the block very soon. I'm sure BB will find a way to make it happen, regardless of who becomes the new HoH; it's high time for floaters to be fished out; maybe this is the "twist."

BB (Big Brother) Ep. 08.08: "A-"!

He's cute and despicable! Have you seen this man in action? He recounts to BB, something along the lines of: "Let me get this right: I score booty -- 5 thousand in cash -- and a drunken Janelle who'll be all over me?" Wait, it doesn't end there; Will also tries to get Marci (Marcellas) nominated for eviction -- genius, until Dani (Danielle) thinks it's suspicious.

Now, about that veto competition; it was lame in the sense that it was fixed. If ya think about it, it's a stupid, whipped-up game where prizes are distributed, pretty much at the whim of BB! Ya could have pressed the buzzer, but what would a silent buzzer ensure? You're at the mercy of the show's producers! But, fixed or not, boy was it entertaining! Seems like BB knows which tokens to keep, just like "Saved by the Bell"! Let's audition:

• Lisa Turtle; minorites add flava to vanilla blandness
  1. Dani
  2. Marci: being gay, ugly, and whining 'n bitching all da time, is never dull. But you're too damn annoying!
• Screech; ya gotta have weirdness
  1. Gonzo (Mike Boogie)
  2. Chicken (George): despite his weight, can easily fade into a wallflower; he's like an effervescent blob that dissipates. Isn't that mound of grass, Chicken? Nope, there's nothing there. And how can you call yourself an all-star if you wanna go home?
• Zack; nothing like irresistible smartass charm
  1. Will: he makes evil look good
  2. James: He's exciting as Jon Arbuckle. Pass!
• Kelly; In real life, a cheerleader's mantra would have been: "Oops! Too bad, so sad!" Also, let's not forget that blond bombshells are required for every recipe. Position filled -- by Jani (Janelle)!
• Slater; testosterone is the other eyecandy
  1. Big Boi (Howie): he's fat now but he said he'll try to get back in shape -- right.
  2. Kaysar: Malfunctioning combustibles should be discarded. "But it looked good on paper!" cries BB! Well, since his neck is on the block now, maybe he'll explode and we'll find candy in the pinata.
• Jessie; the girl who doesn't have it all
  1. Erika: I never liked women who had long faces; they remind me of horses and drag queens. But, she's leggy and gots a cute bod -- at least, she looked cute in her short-shorts.
  2. Marci: Where's the "fab," princess?

In any case, the future of S6 (Season 6) alliance doesn't look great. Two of the strongest alliance members are on the block. On a side note, I don't understand why Power of Vetos get to vote. Anyway, Jani's gonna vote James, since she's suspicious of him for not trying so hard to get off the block. Big Boi choosing between James and Kaysar reminds me of Joey from "Friends" trying to choose Pastrami or Corned Beef. But, as we all know, Joey always chooses Pastrami. Will and Boogie will vote Kaysar; cuz the wrath of a terrorist Muslim ain't good times. Marci, Chicken, and Erika will be contemplating pleading James, and moody yet formidable Kaysar. But if I were a floater, I'd be after Kaysar. I bet ya the results will be: 6 to 1, Kaysar goes home.

But hey kids, don't forget the delectable shot, courtesy of Will: "Money doesn't buy you love, but it buys you stuff. And I luvvv STUFF!"