BB (Big Brother) Ep. 08.08: "A-"!

He's cute and despicable! Have you seen this man in action? He recounts to BB, something along the lines of: "Let me get this right: I score booty -- 5 thousand in cash -- and a drunken Janelle who'll be all over me?" Wait, it doesn't end there; Will also tries to get Marci (Marcellas) nominated for eviction -- genius, until Dani (Danielle) thinks it's suspicious.

Now, about that veto competition; it was lame in the sense that it was fixed. If ya think about it, it's a stupid, whipped-up game where prizes are distributed, pretty much at the whim of BB! Ya could have pressed the buzzer, but what would a silent buzzer ensure? You're at the mercy of the show's producers! But, fixed or not, boy was it entertaining! Seems like BB knows which tokens to keep, just like "Saved by the Bell"! Let's audition:

• Lisa Turtle; minorites add flava to vanilla blandness
  1. Dani
  2. Marci: being gay, ugly, and whining 'n bitching all da time, is never dull. But you're too damn annoying!
• Screech; ya gotta have weirdness
  1. Gonzo (Mike Boogie)
  2. Chicken (George): despite his weight, can easily fade into a wallflower; he's like an effervescent blob that dissipates. Isn't that mound of grass, Chicken? Nope, there's nothing there. And how can you call yourself an all-star if you wanna go home?
• Zack; nothing like irresistible smartass charm
  1. Will: he makes evil look good
  2. James: He's exciting as Jon Arbuckle. Pass!
• Kelly; In real life, a cheerleader's mantra would have been: "Oops! Too bad, so sad!" Also, let's not forget that blond bombshells are required for every recipe. Position filled -- by Jani (Janelle)!
• Slater; testosterone is the other eyecandy
  1. Big Boi (Howie): he's fat now but he said he'll try to get back in shape -- right.
  2. Kaysar: Malfunctioning combustibles should be discarded. "But it looked good on paper!" cries BB! Well, since his neck is on the block now, maybe he'll explode and we'll find candy in the pinata.
• Jessie; the girl who doesn't have it all
  1. Erika: I never liked women who had long faces; they remind me of horses and drag queens. But, she's leggy and gots a cute bod -- at least, she looked cute in her short-shorts.
  2. Marci: Where's the "fab," princess?

In any case, the future of S6 (Season 6) alliance doesn't look great. Two of the strongest alliance members are on the block. On a side note, I don't understand why Power of Vetos get to vote. Anyway, Jani's gonna vote James, since she's suspicious of him for not trying so hard to get off the block. Big Boi choosing between James and Kaysar reminds me of Joey from "Friends" trying to choose Pastrami or Corned Beef. But, as we all know, Joey always chooses Pastrami. Will and Boogie will vote Kaysar; cuz the wrath of a terrorist Muslim ain't good times. Marci, Chicken, and Erika will be contemplating pleading James, and moody yet formidable Kaysar. But if I were a floater, I'd be after Kaysar. I bet ya the results will be: 6 to 1, Kaysar goes home.

But hey kids, don't forget the delectable shot, courtesy of Will: "Money doesn't buy you love, but it buys you stuff. And I luvvv STUFF!"